Tech Support Lament (I Will Survive) Starter lyrics by: Illiad (http://www.userfriendly.org/) Rest of lyrics by: TDS (a regular on ufies.org) and touch-ups by Gordon Fecyk Adaptation of "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor, DINO FEKARIS, FREDDIE PERREN (ASCAP) At first I was afraid - I had lost my mind The phone would ring, I'd do my thing and get maligned But then I spent so many months Helping users dial-out, I'm filled with doubt 'bout my ability not to shout At users who... Can hardly think I showed them how to click on things and even pulled them from the brink I should have known they'd never learn, and realised they wouldn't see If I'd have known for just one second they'd be back to bother me! So here I go! Put them on Hold Just take a nap now... I'm sure they'll wait until they're old! Weren't they the ones who tried to say I lost their files They thought I'd help them... ...and now I'm rollin' in the aisles! Oh, yes, for I I will survive Oh, and as long as they keep dialin' up They're on hold until they die! I've got all my life to live. And I've some brains left to give. And I'll survive. I will survive. Hey, hey! [bridge] It took me ten cases of Jolt - not to fall apart Just trying to get this ignoramus to click on 'Start' And I spent oh so many nights Trying to get them just to see I used to cry, But now I just sit down and lie And you'll hear me Put them in a queue I'm not that chained up tech supporter trying to help them through. If should feel like calling in And getting me to help you clear that porno out of your webcache, Then I'll laugh and disappear! So here I go! Put them on Hold Just take a nap now... I'm sure they'll wait until they're old! Weren't they the ones who tried to say I lost their files They thought I'd help them... ...and now I'm rollin' in the aisles! Oh, yes, for I I will survive Oh, and as long as they keep dialin' up They're on hold until they die! I've got all my life to live. And I've some brains left to give. And I'll survive. I will survive. Hey, hey! So here I go! Put them on Hold Just take a nap now... I'm sure they'll wait until they're old! Weren't they the ones who tried to say I lost their files They thought I'd help them... ...and now I'm rollin' in the aisles! Oh, yes, for I I will survive Oh, and as long as they keep dialin' up They're on hold until they die! I've got all my life to live. And I've some brains left to give. And I'll survive. I will survive. I will survive!