Pacific Link 
By: Tim Pickett, thanks to Ricky for the original idea 
Adaptation of Piano Man by Billy Joel (BMI)

It's five o'clock on a weekday,
I'm beginning to feel a cold sweat;
There's a C-64 sitting next to me,
It's the backbone of telstra-dot-net.

I said, "Come, let's send the world an ICMP,
I don't really care where it goes;
If you cross the Pacific It'll be just terrific,
But if it works, nobody knows."

     Da, da da, de de da,
     Da da, de de da, da da.

     Send us a ping, O Pacific Link,
     Send us a ping tonight,
     For we're all in the mood for a minute when
     You hold more than ten kilobytes.

Now, John, our beloved Prime Minister 
Has an Internet stance far from love,
But he's quick with a frown if the link should fall down
While he's mailing to whitehouse-dot-gov.

He says, "Bill, I believe you've been screwing us,
You're stifling our country's success;
I would think that Australia deserves a bit more
Than thirty-two Mbps."

     Da, da da, de de da,
     Da da, de de da, da da.

     Send us a ping, O Pacific Link,
     Send us a ping tonight,
     For we're all in the mood for a minute when
     You hold more than ten kilobytes.

Now, you might think it's unacceptable,
But there's no need for you to know why;
'Cause if you phone Telstra, they'll say, "Go to hell, sir,"
And probably blame MCI.

And over in south California,
As the sysadmins slowly forget
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call "Coffee"
Still, it's better than minding the net.

     (Instrumental)

     Send us a ping, O Pacific Link,
     Send us a ping tonight,
     For we're all in the mood for a minute when
     You hold more than ten kilobytes.

There's some pretty high traffic for Saturday,
And it's sort of refreshing to see
Those cpe4-hssi1-0's
Are alive more than one time in three.

And the link feels like a casino,
As the roulette wheel once again froze,
Yes, there's 36 red and black numbers, it's said,
But there's 36 million zeroes.

     Da, da da, de de da,
     Da da, de de da, da da.

     Send us a ping, O Pacific Link,
     Send us a ping tonight,
     For we're all in the mood for a minute when
     You hold more than ten kilobytes.