Spammer's Paradise
By: Gordon Fecyk
Inspired by: 'Weird Al' Yankovic's Amish Paradise
Parody of Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio (ASCAP) (BMI)

As I walk on the outback where I set up my shop
I read the terms of use, and realize there's no cops
But that's just perfect, for a spammer like me
You know I'm shunned elsewhere with no connectivity.

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm phoning friends,
...in the USA trying to make amends.  Fools.
And I've been phonin' and spammin' so long that,
...even the wallabies think that my mind is gone.

I am south of Japan where the winters are hot
Got a T1 in my hand I'd otherwise have not, but
If I finish all of my spam, and you're not late,
then tonight we're making money like it's AGIS '98.

	We've been spendin' most our lives
	Livin' in a spammer's paradise
	I'm ping-flooded once or twice
	Livin' in a spammer's paradise
	It's slow lag and no replies
	Livin' in a spammer's paradise
	We do bulk at discount price
	Livin' in a spammer's paradise!

A Canadian got me RBL'd last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek.
I really don't care, in fact I wish him bliss,
Because I added his address, to my "remove" list.

I ain't never sued a NetCop even if they deserved it,
A spammer with a clue? You know that's unheard of.
I never had lawyers but I got a black hat,
and my ISP agrees, that I look good in that.  Fools.

If you try to LART us you'll be mad to tears
We haven't even paid the landlord since we've moved here.
But we ain't really sane, so please don't even try.
We're just paying customers to thine.

	There's no phone, no fax, no lettermail
	Not a single link to us!
	In fact you'll never see it,
	'cause we operate from a bus!

	We've been spendin' most our lives
	Livin' in a spammer's paradise
	We use plain and simple lies
	Livin' in a spammer's paradise
	A full meal, we're short some fries
	Livin' in a spammer's paradise
	We eat KFC each night
	Livin' in a spammer's paradise!

Hitchin' up the buggy, crank the generator,
Time to do some spamming, Let's each chicken later!
Think you're gonna catch us?  Think you're really smart?
Well I know you're a million times as clever as Telstra!

I'm the spamming guy the chickenboners wanna be like
on the 'net day and night pumpin' spam for some porno site!
So don't complain!  And don't be whiny!
Or may a plague, of a thousand kangaroos jump on your hiney!

	We've been spendin' most our lives
	Livin' in a spammer's paradise
	We're Australian outback guys
	Livin' in a spammer's paradise
	There's no LARTs or opt-in rights
	Livin' in a spammer's paradise
	But you'd think prob'ly think it bites
	Livin' in a spammer's paradise!